How do these things happen to me?

So I was going to go pick up the kids. My mother drops them off, I pick them up. I had to reset my seat because Husband Big-Legs had driven my car last, and then I headed on out. As I took the last corner of the driveway and pulled to a stop at the street, I heard something in back of me go Scriiiiiiitch..rattle..rattle..thump. My husband had last taken this car to the dump. I figured he left a can or something in the back. No sweat. I pulled out.

Screeech-rattle-rattle-thump-sliiiiide-rattle-thump. I saw something drop off the roof from my rearview mirror and lie still on the road behind me. I hit the brakes. I looked at the little huddle again. "Oh, God. I've killed a cat."

The thing stayed there and I stayed there wondering what to do. "I'd better check it out." So I put the car into reverse and backed up to it. "Is that a cat?" In the increased light from the car being in reverse, I wasn't sure anymore. So I put it in park, put on my flashers, and got out of the car to investigate.

It was a chicken.

"Uh oh, I've killed one of my sister's chickens." But the head was moving about. "Broken both legs, I bet," I thought, and approached the bird, one of two Rhode Island reds in my sister's brood. It rose to its feet and started wandering away. I picked up my pace. It picked up its pace. I tried to grab it, but it ran off into the trees. I stood there, again weighing my options, and finally got back in the car. I had to pick up those kids.

They were out, of course, and came walking right up to the car as I pulled into place. "Sorry I'm late, guys," I said. "I've got a really good reason." My brother looked up as he opened the car door.
"Did you know that you've got... a lot... of frozen bird crap... on your roof?"
"Uh, yeah..." I said wryly, "I figured I might."