If Cars Were People

I was honestly on my way to write this idea when a fellow blogger wrote this far better than I ever could. So without further ado, here is friday's description of health insurance... for cars...

My fellow Americans, we have a crisis in our nation. We have people driving around across this bountiful land with their engine light on, their oil light on, and no muffler. We have people who have to choose between going another 1,000 miles between oil changes or buying dinner. There have been stories told of people watering down their anti-freeze, disconnecting their O2 sensor, and some never changing their air filter because our auto repair industry is corrupt, overpriced, and needs reform.

These are the facts: Most employers do not provide their employees with adequate auto insurance. Most auto insurance is unaffordable and only covers accidents. Some auto insurance only pays for the other person's car in the case of an accident.

The fact is, lack of comprehensive auto insurance, including insurance for minor repairs and routine maintenance, is the leading cause of death in this country*. Most repair jobs are drastic and overpriced because Americans could not afford routine maintenance. Many people are forced to take public transportation, or walk to work which costs them their jobs or results in them dying of exposure. If we provided comprehensive auto insurance and repairs to every American, we could actually save money by preventing the need for drastic repairs.

Now, I know the opposition thinks we should keep the status quo. They say we should do nothing, let the chips fall where they may. Well, I tell you that we are a generous nation and auto care is a right, not just something for the privileged few rich people in our country. It makes no sense, in our rich country, for Americans to be going without proper brake fluid levels.

It is time to introduce a public option for auto insurance and repairs. It is time to make sure that every American is able to live and work and drive without having to worry where their next fillup will come from or if they will be able to survive if their alternator dies.

Now, I don't want to run the auto insurance or repair industry. That should be up to the private sector. That is why I am proposing a government funded public auto insurance and repair program that anyone can subscribe to and it will be subsidized and free for many. Some people say that this is socialist. That's ridiculous. I don't have time to run the auto repair industry. A public option won't undercut or replace private insurers, it will just compete with them at a far lower subsidized price.

To pay for it, we will cut funding to public transportation. This will save us billions of dollars. We will also tax gasoline additives, racing tires, tinted windows and performance products that cause people to take unnecessary risks and add unnecessary wear and tear on their vehicles. We will put together a computer database of every driver with their tickets, average mileage, and other factors to determine the best treatment of their vehicles. If they drive too fast, we won't pay for certain repairs. Also, to cut costs in the repair industry we won't allow for repairs on vehicles over 15 years old or 200,000 miles. Every year you will have to provide proof or auto insurance or you and your employer will each be taxed an additional 8% of your salary. These measures will make universal auto insurance and repairs deficit neutral.

To ensure high quality of repairs, anyone who works on a car in the public or private arena must have a federal license and at least 6 years of college education in automotive studies. Now, I don't want to choose your mechanic for you, so as long as you pick the most local, experienced mechanic matched to you by our database, you can have any mechanic you want.

Right now our automotive repair industry is worse than most third world countries**! This is America. I hope we can change this. I know we can do better and end the status quo. Please submit your ideas and questions via youtube.com, and we will give a prize of $2,500 to the individual who submits the question that best illustrates why we need universal auto care.

We must pass this quickly. America is relying on us and every day more cars die and more people die because of it. We can't afford not to reform our auto insurance and repair industry.

*Taking into account deaths caused by faulty auto repairs, automobile accidents, possible exposure caused by walking, suicides potentially related to not having a car, suicides with a car, deaths in subway systems and public transportation apparatus and global warming deaths.

**Taking into account total number of repairs, average cost for repairs, and how long individuals keep their cars before selling them.