Equality of what, exactly?

I am a member of the Ladies Against Feminism group. As such, I have joined their Facebook page and often read and reply to the people there. I wanted to take one of my answers today and expand it for the edification for anyone who reads this blog.

One self-proclaimed feminist wrote the following (excerpt): "A real feminist believes women should have all the same choices as men do. However, the fact that most people who do choose to stay at home are women obviously says something. it cannot in every case be a choice or else 50% of stay at home parents would be men."

Now this falls into an error that feminists and liberals (the two groups often overlap) both follow. This error is defining equal opportunity as equal outcomes.

This nation was created in order to give each of us equal opportunity, and it has historically succeeded admirably. Anyone is allowed to start their own business. Anyone is allowed to work his way up, to find a way to pay for higher education, to transcend the social and economic class into which he.. or she.. was born. If you have a dream, America is the place to be. You will have no better luck in any other country.

Now of course, all human beings have different dreams. Many dream of simply having a safe, comfortable life. Some want to invent something new. Others want to heal anyone they can help. Still others simply want to accumulate wealth. It is a delight to me to ask people what they dream of doing and encourage them to take steps towards that end. I know one young man who merely wants to be the best teacher of history, the one who gives untold students a love for knowledge of the past. I knew one middle-aged woman, a data entry worker, who wished she was repairing, refurbishing, and selling antique furniture on Long Island. Walk down any street and understand that those houses hide (or display, depending on the house) all sorts of fascinating professions and hobbies. I've seen an entire basement taken up by a beautifully intricate, lifelike model railroad running its tracks through mountainous villages and a miniature city. I married the son of the man who invented the Auto-Reverse for the cassette tape deck.

What's my point? Well, if each person is a dynamic, living person with hopes and dreams, then not everyone is going to have the same dream and not everyone is going to have the same hope. Not everyone will want to be a doctor, and not everyone will want to be a carpenter. The last thing I would expect from equal opportunities is equal outcomes, because not everyone values the same things. One person will be utterly happy with a part-time job, an old trailer, and the ability to take three-hour walks daily. Another will prize money over time. Yet another will gladly give up all his money to be surrounded by children. If we are forced to have equal outcomes, we cannot have equal opportunity.

Back to our feminist talker of the day. "It cannot in every case be a choice or else 50% of stay at home parents would be men," she asserts. Is this true? A Pew research poll in 2007 showed that only 21% of full-time working mothers and 16% of stay-at-home mothers believe that full-time work is ideal for them. On the other hand, 72% of working fathers believe that working full-time is the best situation for them. Why would someone believe that equal opportunity to make your own choice would result in a 50/50 split of homemaker men and women, when over 70% of fathers prefer to work full-time and about 20% of mothers prefer the same?

Personally, ideally, I would think that equal opportunity would result in 100% of working mothers feeling that full-time work is ideal for them, and 0% of the stay-at-home mothers feeling that full-time work is ideal for them. Of course, we don't live in an ideal world, and, as our feminist of the day pointed out, not everyone has the ability to choose what he or she prefers in the area of homemaking versus working outside the home. So what should be done to make that choice more available?

Most feminists believe that more women should be pushed out of the homemaking sphere, by force if necessary, in order to ensure that they have equality through equal outcomes. I believe that equality comes through opportunity, and that true choice will result in the majority of women feeling that they are in their ideal situation. Given that 84% of stay-at-home women are in their ideal situation and only 21% of working mothers feel the same way, my analysis is that any method of coercion, any oppression of choices, is happening due to the feminist 'remedy'.