This morning, I looked around at the general mess left from yesterday's birthday party. I started loading dishes into the dish drainer as my eldest finished his breakfast. Then I told him to clean up the dining and living room.
Cue the angst. "But I just did it yesterday!"
"Does it look clean?"
"Nooooo! But that's because it got so messy so quickly!"
"It needs to be done, then."
"It's going to take me all day! It'll take five hours!"
"Then perhaps you need practice. I should have you do it every day."
"Then I'll never get any schoolwork done at all, because I won't have time!"
I'll spare you the rest. It went on for a while, and got ridiculous. Yes, more ridiculous than the notion that picking up toys and carrying dishes to the sink will take up five hours of every day, and taking up five hours of a day at any activity will prevent him from having the time to finish a curriculum that typically takes him 4-6 hours depending on the day, including breaks and food. (With a recent average of two, since we are close to the end of his year and half of his books are finished.) Anyways...
Improvisational storytelling in such situations comes to me so easily that I used to assume that every mother gained it as a natural skill, like the ability to change a diaper and remember what your five-year-old had for lunch. Since then, I have heard from people who tell me that my gift is not all that common. If it is inherited, I definitely inherited it from my mother, who does it all the time. On my father's side, my semi-famous great-uncle poet credited his mother's ability to invent songs and rhymes on the fly while cleaning the house, and engaging her children in the process as if they were playing a game. (They didn't exactly have television, or radio, or electricity, in the late 1800's Ukrainian slums.)
The skill is definitely strong in my line.
"Do you know what comes of this? Do you? The way you treat your mother is the way you will treat your wife. Oh yes, it's true. The way you treat your mother and your sisters, growing up, is the way you will treat your wife. Do you know what will happen? Let me tell you.
"At first she'll ask for your help when the house needs to be cleaned after a party, or when the kids are acting up and she can't keep ahead of her chores. You'll whine and complain just like you're doing here, try to blame everything on her..." I approximated (and may have exaggerated) the whine in his voice. "'Oh I won't have time for my job if I do that, and then I'll lose my job, and we won't have any money anymore!' So she'll ask at first, but she'll get tired of your emotional abuse, and she'll stop asking. She'll do everything herself. She'll be afraid to seek help from you.
"Guess what happens next. She burns out. She gets burned out, so exhausted she can't think, just working and working all the time, doing her chores and yours. And then do you know what she'll do? She'll divorce you." This produced a moment of silence, which I allowed to cultivate for a moment before picking up my narrative. "She'll divorce you for neglect, and for emotional abuse. And do you know what she'll say when she exits the courthouse after signing the divorce papers? She'll say..." Here I paused and changed my expression (and tone) from dramatic to a mixture of relief and slight disbelief. "'I don't have to wash his socks anymore. I don't have to take out his garbage anymore." The relief gives way to excitement. "I'm going to go out and see a movie tonight! I haven't gone out to a movie in ten years!"
Back to lecture mode. "How would you feel if your wife divorced you and then said that? You wouldn't like that, would you? Who do you think washes Daddy's socks? I do. And you know what? I don't mind doing it! Do you know why? It's because when I have a house to clean, or a party to set up, or misbehaving kids, I know he's got my back. You want to be like Daddy. He's a hard worker, and he cares for us. He might grumble a little when he has to take out the garbage, but he does not gripe at me, and he does not blame me. He does not say, 'I bet you fill it up so fast just to give me more work to do!'" Here, of course, I had cut in the kid-whiny tone again.
"So I'm going to make sure you learn. You're going to learn how to clean, and how to do it without complaining. I'm doing this for the sake of your wife, so that she will never have to go through what you put me through this morning. Do you understand?"
A mumbled yes. This is actually the first full vocalization from him, since all of my repeated questions have not incorporated any answer-me pauses, implicit or explicit.
"Good. Now clean the living room and dining room."
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year’s Resolution: 1920x1080
Each year I re-resolve several things, but this year I’m going to repeat my little ritual and re-resolve them once again.
Why do I do this to myself?
Well, though I fail to hit my target each year, I do come closer to reaching it. My house is cleaner today than it was last year on this date. My weight is closer to normal. I have made the greatest leaps and strides in my writing. So here I go again, with the same New Year’s Resolutions as ever before, and one of them, of course, concerns this blog and me posting in it more often.
Resolution 1: Writing more
I made leaps and strides here, when I decided to join in the NaNoWriMo challenge (lovingly nicknamed “Cain’t Write No Mo’” about halfway through) and finish the first draft of a book I had outlined some time ago. I discovered that I was capable of putting 2,000 words on a story each day, no matter how I was feeling or how inspired I was. My challenge was to see if I was a writer, not only in good times, but also in bad. I succeeded.
I put aside the draft for the entire month of December, but in January I want to turn out my first-edited form for family and friends to read, with an eventual goal of publication. For 2011, I also want to turn this blog into something people will actually come back to read and, you know, find new stuff *to* read. I’d like to post in it at least weekly, at most daily.
Resolution 2: Clean my house
My house-decorating philosophy is actually quite simple. I am a fan of all that is useful and beautiful. If it is beautiful but not useful, or if it is useful and not beautiful, I am more likely to want it gone. Sounds simple enough, right? Unfortunately, I am also OCD and a bit of a packrat. I have so many things I want gone that I have never been able to rid myself of.
I have a genuinely nice house that would have all the room I needed if we would only get rid of the things we don’t use/like/need.
Resolution 3: Stick to my proper weight
I’m really not that bad off. I picked up an extra 10-15lbs during my second pregnancy, and they just haven’t come off yet. Actually, I began this year 15lbs up and ended it 10lbs up, so I am honestly getting myself back into shape. This goal I’m not too worried about, not just because I think I can do it, but also because it isn’t really all that important to me.
Will this be “my year”?
To be honest, I will be happy even if I make a small gain in each goal. Best case scenario will find me, on December 31st, 2011, reporting that my house is clutter-free and my first novel has been published, and that my BMI has gone from 25 to 22.5.
Why do I do this to myself?
Well, though I fail to hit my target each year, I do come closer to reaching it. My house is cleaner today than it was last year on this date. My weight is closer to normal. I have made the greatest leaps and strides in my writing. So here I go again, with the same New Year’s Resolutions as ever before, and one of them, of course, concerns this blog and me posting in it more often.
Resolution 1: Writing more
I made leaps and strides here, when I decided to join in the NaNoWriMo challenge (lovingly nicknamed “Cain’t Write No Mo’” about halfway through) and finish the first draft of a book I had outlined some time ago. I discovered that I was capable of putting 2,000 words on a story each day, no matter how I was feeling or how inspired I was. My challenge was to see if I was a writer, not only in good times, but also in bad. I succeeded.
I put aside the draft for the entire month of December, but in January I want to turn out my first-edited form for family and friends to read, with an eventual goal of publication. For 2011, I also want to turn this blog into something people will actually come back to read and, you know, find new stuff *to* read. I’d like to post in it at least weekly, at most daily.
Resolution 2: Clean my house
My house-decorating philosophy is actually quite simple. I am a fan of all that is useful and beautiful. If it is beautiful but not useful, or if it is useful and not beautiful, I am more likely to want it gone. Sounds simple enough, right? Unfortunately, I am also OCD and a bit of a packrat. I have so many things I want gone that I have never been able to rid myself of.
I have a genuinely nice house that would have all the room I needed if we would only get rid of the things we don’t use/like/need.
Resolution 3: Stick to my proper weight
I’m really not that bad off. I picked up an extra 10-15lbs during my second pregnancy, and they just haven’t come off yet. Actually, I began this year 15lbs up and ended it 10lbs up, so I am honestly getting myself back into shape. This goal I’m not too worried about, not just because I think I can do it, but also because it isn’t really all that important to me.
Will this be “my year”?
To be honest, I will be happy even if I make a small gain in each goal. Best case scenario will find me, on December 31st, 2011, reporting that my house is clutter-free and my first novel has been published, and that my BMI has gone from 25 to 22.5.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Superclean
Let's see what I can do with my messy kitchen in one day.
First off, I've taken some pictures with what I'm starting out with. This is what happens when a housekeeper gets depressed! Let this be a warning for all of us! I went through a rather dark period just the past month or so, and this weekend I had to stop and shed a lot of undeserved guilt about things that happened years ago. Now, at the beginning of a new month and a new monthly cycle, I'm full of energy and ready to go!
Ok, I started by putting my dishes away and washing the rest. I washed even what would usually go into the dishwasher, because I want them all clean and there isn't enough to make a load. Actually, I started by putting a load of clothes in the laundry and setting the timer for a half hour. Ok, it's 8:20, here I go!
10:30am I pop in to write that I was 'sidetracked' into taking care of all of my overdue cans. One by one I opened them and dumped them into a container that my son carried to the compost each time it was full. Rinsed them and filled up an entire tub. I'm going to have to drop the recyclables at the dump today. This is still kitchen focus, so that's ok!
11:00am Break for lunch.
12pm My pace is going to be slower, but I bet I can still get something done. I'm crockpotting dinner, so I'd better get that going first. I'm going to get the meat off the turkey carcass that we cooked Friday and make a soup. I do that in the crock pot. So far I've taken care of the old cans and thorough-cleaned between the sink and the stove. The stove itself needs a good scrub.
1pm Finish! I thorough-cleaned between the sink and the refrigerator. The stuff in the sink is all new from lunch, which was pasta. I washed out both recycling bins, discovering in the process that the garden hose does in fact spray water when you aren't holding down the handle. So I had to change clothes... In taking care of all those cans, I opened up an entire kitchen shelf that I can use for other things now.
Ok, I admit I'm done for the day. I'll spend the rest of the day dealing with correspondence, taking my son to Children's Choir, making supper, etc. So here's my progress...
It's still going to take another couple of days to really get the kitchen where it should be. This is a good start, though. The crock pot is kind of hiding much of my progress, but it's been made!
First off, I've taken some pictures with what I'm starting out with. This is what happens when a housekeeper gets depressed! Let this be a warning for all of us! I went through a rather dark period just the past month or so, and this weekend I had to stop and shed a lot of undeserved guilt about things that happened years ago. Now, at the beginning of a new month and a new monthly cycle, I'm full of energy and ready to go!
Ok, I started by putting my dishes away and washing the rest. I washed even what would usually go into the dishwasher, because I want them all clean and there isn't enough to make a load. Actually, I started by putting a load of clothes in the laundry and setting the timer for a half hour. Ok, it's 8:20, here I go!
10:30am I pop in to write that I was 'sidetracked' into taking care of all of my overdue cans. One by one I opened them and dumped them into a container that my son carried to the compost each time it was full. Rinsed them and filled up an entire tub. I'm going to have to drop the recyclables at the dump today. This is still kitchen focus, so that's ok!
11:00am Break for lunch.
12pm My pace is going to be slower, but I bet I can still get something done. I'm crockpotting dinner, so I'd better get that going first. I'm going to get the meat off the turkey carcass that we cooked Friday and make a soup. I do that in the crock pot. So far I've taken care of the old cans and thorough-cleaned between the sink and the stove. The stove itself needs a good scrub.
1pm Finish! I thorough-cleaned between the sink and the refrigerator. The stuff in the sink is all new from lunch, which was pasta. I washed out both recycling bins, discovering in the process that the garden hose does in fact spray water when you aren't holding down the handle. So I had to change clothes... In taking care of all those cans, I opened up an entire kitchen shelf that I can use for other things now.
Ok, I admit I'm done for the day. I'll spend the rest of the day dealing with correspondence, taking my son to Children's Choir, making supper, etc. So here's my progress...
It's still going to take another couple of days to really get the kitchen where it should be. This is a good start, though. The crock pot is kind of hiding much of my progress, but it's been made!
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