Monday, March 28, 2016

The National Enquirer and Ted Cruz

Now, here are my thoughts on the National Enquirer story.

My greatest concern is that people are taking it as being automatically true. They justify this by pointing out a few times when the Enquirer broke a story about someone having an affair and, though the details were more or less wrong, the basic idea (a particular person having had an affair) turned out to be true.

(The National Enquirer also says that Michelle Obama is a lesbian, that Barack Obama has had multiple secret affairs because of this (redux: they used to say that the reason why Bill Clinton had all those affairs was because Hillary Clinton is also a lesbian), that Hillary Clinton has brain cancer, and, back in 2009, they claimed that Oprah had three years left to live.)

C'mon, guys, be smarter than that.

It's like fortune-telling.

Do you know how fortune-telling works? The fortune teller concentrates on you, but not on some spiritual aspect of your presence. She looks at your expression and your body language. Then she starts throwing out a few things that are extremely common among human beings. "You want to find someone to love." Or perhaps, "You feel the need to be acknowledged for the work you do." In the body language of your response and the words you say, you give her some extra information. "Yeah, my boss never appreciates me!" Now she knows that you work outside the home for a boss whom you believe does not appreciate you. People in that situation are often hoping for a promotion. So she says, "That promotion you are hoping for is not long off." Now, if you get a promotion any time in the next five years, you will think it is an answer to the prediction.

(Newspaper horoscopes work the same way. When my eldest asked about horoscopes, I mentioned his birthdate, found his astrological sign, and read a prediction out from a random site. When he said that it fit, I read another one. Then another. Then another. Each one, he said, fit his situation. Then I revealed to him that I had read to him every astrological sign prediction except for his own.)

Multiple studies and surveys claim that the adultery rate among men is roughly around 20% That means that, statistically speaking, if you accuse five men of adultery, you'll probably be right once. If you have six headlines on your page and three of them accuse someone new of adultery, you're probably going to get a hit about once every two or three months, unless you're really unlucky. If you're concentrating on politicians and Hollywood, your rate is going to go up.

Does that mean that you actually know what's going on? Does that mean that everyone you accuse should be automatically considered guilty?

No. It just means that you know how to guess well enough to make money off the fools who want to believe what you have to say.

Just like fortune tellers.

Does this mean that I absolutely do not believe that Cruz has ever had an affair? No. As noted, at least 20% of the male population has. This percentage climbs when you hit Hollywood and the political scene. Maybe he has. Maybe he hasn't. He says he hasn't. At least two of the women contacted so far have also said that they did not have an affair with him. From what I hear through the grapevine (about as useful a source as the National Enquirer itself), the high-price prostitute is suggesting that she might have a story and dickering for a price. I'll take that with about as much seriousness as it is worth.

But for all I know, maybe it is true.

All I'm saying is this: If you believe it because the National Enquirer says so, you're a fool. And if you believe it because the National Enquirer says so and you want to believe them because you hope it's true, you are worse than a fool.

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