The simplest things

I took an Internet test this morning on being a '1930's wife'. I thought I'd score as low as other people I'd seen taking it for sure. I was amazed to find that I scored very highly. I was more amazed to see the kind of things the test required of a good 1930's wife, considering how many people scored poorly.

So what kind of things did I check? I dress before breakfast. I am cheerful in the mornings. I greet my husband with a smile when he comes home from work. Supper is generally on time. I know how to sew a button on a shirt. I try to learn a bit about what he's doing at work. I'm pretty frugal with the money. (Those outside of my uber-frugal New Englander family would say I'm exceptionally frugal with the money.) I'm pleasant even with unexpected guests. I speak with my husband before making large decisions/purchases. I checked that I wear red nail polish, but I don't know if that counted for or against me.

What kind of things did I not check? I don't gossip. I don't correct my husband's speech in front of guests. I don't go to bed angry at him.

Is it so difficult, ladies? I've heard so many women complain bitterly about "what was expected" of that 1930's wife. I've heard them scoff. Doesn't she take any time for herself? Isn't she more than just a doormat? Of course she is! Don't sound so stupid! Does it really take that much from a woman to smile when her husband comes home? To listen to him? To care about what he's been doing, his needs and his struggles, his successes? What'd you even get married for?

I worked full-time outside the home for three years while my husband finished an advance college degree that would allow us to live on a single income so that I could homeschool our son. It was so difficult! I got a taste of what my husband deals with, and on top of that I had to deal with a lot of the household stuff. You know what, though? I learned from it what made a day better and what made it worse. It's a tough world out there, especially in the "cubicle farms," underappreciated and struggling for position.

Do you know how much nicer it is to live that life if you come home to a smile? If you wake up to a pleasant demeanor? To have someone supporting you and not tearing you down? Women act like it's such an unreasonable demand on their time and energy, but it's so little, it's so little and it means so much.

Now you don't really have to know how to sew on a button if you've got the money to buy a new dress every spring and fall. You don't have to know how to cook a masterpiece if you can put something together that's healthy and pretty nearly on time. You don't have to do curlers in your hair and makeup every evening just to look nice when your guy comes home. You have a vacuum cleaner, a dishwasher, a washing machine and dryer, a microwave, and a car. Some people talk as if everyone should go back to the 30's, but that's not necessary. Where we've made progress, let's keep it.

But I would love to keep that 30's attitude, the cheerful, loving, giving wife who doesn't think it's a burden on her time to smile at her husband when he comes home. Someone who cares about taking care of him, who is interested in him. Someone who does the homemaking, not growly and begrudgingly, but with pride and a bit of finesse.